The next morning I woke up to the sound of raindrops hitting the window from outside.
7:30, ok, you've got a lot of time on your hands, I thought and crawled out of bed.
I went to the bathroom to grab a hot shower. I stared at myself in the mirror for a while and turned my head away in disgust. Hell, I didn't even want to see my own reflexion in the mirror anymore. I was tired of myself. Tired because no matter how hard I tried I still couldn't get away my feelings for Marty. I wanted to push them away but they just grew bigger and stronger the more I tried.
I sighed and switched on the water. I felt the warm water embrace my pale body.
I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off with a towel.
I went to pick out some clothes. I putted my green pants on and an old Pink Floyd tour t-shirt that I had gotten from my older brother Liam. I brushed my hair and packed all of my stuff together in my black suitcase. I grabbed my bags and closed the door behind me. I went down to the lobby and checked out of the hotel with the rest of the crew. I hurried into the roadies' bus and took a seat by the window.
I glanced out at the rain.
"Good morning!" I heard Josh say next to me.
"Good morning, Josh…" I replied still gazing out on the roads and the dark skies.
"Are you ok? You seem sad" Josh said and laid his hand on my shoulder.
"No, it's nothing. I'm just tired, that's all" I said lying him right in the face.
"Ok… I see that whatever it is you clearly don't want to talk about it right now but… if you feel like you need someone to open your heart for. Come to me. I promise I won't tell anyone" Josh said and glanced at me while biting his lip.
"Ok… Thank you Josh" I said and smirked.
"I'll leave you alone now… Talk to me if you want" he said just to insure me that he really were there for me if I needed him.
He let go of my shoulder and walked back in the bus.
I looked out at the rain and sighed deeply for myself. I had no idea what was going to happen between me and Marty now. Was he also sad? Disappointed? Was he going to give up on me now that I'd just left him after our first kiss? I had a thousand questions and I felt the tears burning in my eyes.
Suddenly a wild thought appeared in my mind. The guitar! The guitar he loaned me to fix for him. Perhaps I could repair it and give it to him as some kind of apologize? At least I could try; I thought and went back in the bus where the guitar cases were standing. I spotted Marty's guitar case with the tag that said "broken" on. I smiled for myself and grabbed the case. I went to my seat and picked up the guitar. I started searching in my own bag for some guitar tools. For those who don't know me this probably seemed incredibly weird but I always carried a couple of useful guitar tools with me wherever I travelled. It can always come to good use. Well, you can't deny me. It came to good use right now.
I grabbed my spanner and began to remove the broken tuning screw. I picked up my little fabric bag where I carried useful guitar parts that I'd removed from scrapped guitars that I'd found on the dump. To my happiness I found just what I was looking for; another tuning screw similar to the ones on Marty's guitar. Carefully I putted the new screw on the guitar and made sure it was stuck there. I tuned the guitar, just to make sure that I really did fix it correctly. I got it in tune easy and happy I putted it back into its case and removed the "broken"-tag with pride.
Fuck yeah, I thought cheered up from my own accomplishments.
Suddenly the bus stopped and I saw the venue of the night from my window.
Already here, wow that went fast. I'd been so focused on the guitar that I hadn't even noticed when the time went by.
I grabbed my bags and the guitar case and jumped out of the bus. I felt my stomach rumble and I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything in all day. I was so hungry. I tried to forget about my hunger, I needed to focus on my work right now.
I walked into the venue and saw that Suicidal Tendencies was in the middle of their sound check.
I helped the other roadies to carry some stuff until it was time for Megadeth to do their sound check. I heard Megadeth walk on stage and caught Marty looking at me. I set my mind on the thought that this was only work business. Relationships and hook-ups are strictly forbidden in work business.
I grabbed the guitar case and walked on stage to help Marty get the right sound for his guitar.
"Hi" I said to him and handed him the guitar case "I fixed it for you on the bus".
He opened the guitar case and picked up the guitar and tried to play it. The sound was back to perfect, just as it had been before he accidently broke it.
"Thank you" he said and smirked, unsure of how to act.
I was just about to walk over to the mixing table to fix his sound when he stopped me.
"Wait!" he said "I need to talk to you… I'm sorry for what happened last night. Can we please talk after our show?"
I looked at him and sighed "Ok… Find me after the show and we'll talk" I said and walked over to fix his sound.
After the sound check I walked out of the venue alone to grab some food for my empty stomach. I was just about to close the entrance door behind me when I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"Penelope! Wait up!" I heard someone shout.
I turned around and saw Dave trying to catch up with me.
"Are you going out to get some food?" he asked with a smile.
"Yes, I am! I haven't eaten in all day and I'm starving!" I said and he followed me outside.
"Do you mind if I come with you? I was just about to get some food myself" he said.
"No, I don't mind it all. It's nice with some company. I'm used to going alone, I don't have many friends back home… or here either for that matter" I said with a chuckle.
"Well, at least you've got one friend here" he said twinkly eyed.
I pointed at him and raised my brow with a smile.
He nodded and smiled broadly.
Together we went along the big street and looked for some restaurants.
"What about Chinese food?" he said and pointed at a restaurant a couple of feet in front of us.
"Sure, I'm so hungry right now that I could eat almost anything!" I said and laughed.
We sat down by a table by the window and ordered in our food.
"What's the matter with you and Marty?" he asked "I've seen how you two look at each other. I definitely see a spark between you guys. Marty seemed kind of sad today, has something happened between you two?"
I began to feel slightly awkward by his question. What was I supposed to say? I'd been acting like a complete douche last night and now I'm just supposed to tell Dave all about it?
"Umm…" I said nervously looking down at my plate.
"Please just tell me" Dave said and glanced at me.
I sighed and once again I felt how the tears began to burn in my eyes, but I held them back. I was not going to cry in front of Dave.
"Ok… Last night after your show I hung out with Marty for a while and grabbed some food before going back to the hotel and… we were standing outside 7-Eleven eating sandwiches and talking and we kinda… kissed" I said and started blushing. "Then… I kinda got… scared… by the whole situation and all so I kinda… ran away. I've regretted it every single second since then because… I… I really like him and… now that I left him there… he probably will never like me back or anything…" I said fighting my tears with all the strength I had in my body.
"Don't you think he liked you at the first point if he kissed you?" Dave said with a slightly sad expression on his face.
"Maybe… But I'm sure he doesn't like me any longer since I just… left him. I was reckless to him" I said, really ashamed for what I'd done.
"Well, Marty likes you. I know that. We guys talk about girls and crushes much more than I believe you girls think. Marty really wants to talk to you again, that he even said to me in person just a couple of hours ago" he said and looked at me significantly.
"Yeah… He said that to me during the sound check. We might talk later… I really don't know how this is about to go. I'm not that used to love, crushes and boyfriends you see…" I said and smirked with sadness filling my eyes.
"I hope it'll go good between you two. You are really cute together. I love how you both in some way try to deny your feelings for each other but everyone around you sees that you actually got that… thing, you know, for each other" he said and smiled comforting at me.
"Hey, look at the time… We really should be heading back so you won't miss your own show!" I exclaimed and marked that our deep conversation about love sorrows officially was over.
We got up from our chairs, paid the check and left the restaurant.
I followed him back to the venue and made sure that all of their instruments worked properly when they got on stage.
Megadeth commenced the concert with Wake up Dead as usual and everything was working perfectly.
I spotted Steve in the hallway and began to approach him.
"Hey, Steve! Wait up" I shouted so he would hear me.
He stopped and turned around and I caught up with him.
"Hey, boss, I was just wondering if you have any work for me to do. I just made sure Megadeth got on stage properly and I've got no work I know about for a couple of hours. Anything I could help with?" I asked Steve showing him that I really cared about my work.
"Uhmm… Good. I appreciate that you're offering help, that is truly the spirit of a good worker, but I don't think I have anything for you to do right now. You can go and rest at the hotel, you're done with your work for the day" he said and gestured with his hand towards the door in the order of me to leave for the day.
"Ok… Thank you. I'll see you in the lobby tomorrow morning then, boss. Have a good night's sleep" I said to him and smiled thankfully.
"Yes, you too, Penelope. Good work you did with Friedman's guitar today, by the way! If you keep on like this, I might even give you a raise!" I he said with a broad smile and walked away.
Well done, Penelope, I thought for myself and walked towards the hotel.
I went up to my room on 5th floor, unlocked the door and stepped in.
Ah, I love the fresh smell of hotel rooms I thought and putted my things down on the floor.
I sat around in the hotel room, ordering up some drinks and did pretty much what Steve had told me to do; just relax.
A couple of hours later when I was almost asleep in the big comfy king-size bed I heard someone knock at my door.
Who the fuck can this be? So damn late? I thought and looked over at the watch; 11:33. I yawned and crawled out of the bed.
I opened the door and saw, to my surprise, that it was no one less than Marty that was standing outside my room with a slightly awkward look on his face.
"I came here to talk to you" he said and looked down at his shoes.
"Yeah I figured…" I said quietly and invited him in with a neutral gesture.
He sat down on the bed and I sat down next to him. Everything was quiet for a while. I think none of us really did know what to say.
"I'm sorry that I just left you after our kiss last night…" I said quietly "I was… scared".
"I'm the one that should be sorry. I went way too far on the first date… If you even can call a trip to 7-Eleven a date..." he said with a light chuckle.
"No, no, you didn't go too far! It was me. I got scared so I pulled out and ran away. I was reckless to you. I'm sorry" I said and felt a warm tear slowly run down my cheek.
"It's ok. I forgive you. As long as you forgive me too!" Marty said and I heard in his voice that he was fighting tears as well.
I looked at Marty, tears running down my cheeks, I simply couldn't fight them any longer.
"I forgive you" I said and fell into his arms. I cried uncontrollable. I didn't even really know why I cried. I was usually not the person that cried but there was something about this situation that just made me release every single tear that I'd been holding back for the last couple of years. Tears because of loneliness, tears because of friends, tears because of broken hearts, well, I could go on forever. I really didn't know why I cried so much but one thing did I know for sure and that was that I didn't wanted anybody there more than I wanted Marty there. I felt good around him. It was just something about him that made me feel so safe.
I pressed my face close to his chest, he smelled so good, and I felt him kiss my forehead as I cried out years of tears. He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me slowly while patting my back. I had never felt so safe before. Even though I cried I felt like the happiest person on the entire planet.
He hushed me while holding me tight and I felt that my vial of tears that had felt eternal was soon about to run dry. I couldn't believe that it was just a few days ago we first met; it felt like I'd known him for decades.
When I was almost out of tears I looked up at him, still weeping and with my eyes red of tears.
"Why are you crying?" he whispered to me.
"I don't know" I whispered back, barely audible.
He stroked my hair and wiped some tears off of my face with his hand and smiled at me.
"You're beautiful, do you know that?" he said to me and kissed me scantily on the lips.
"You're so damn beautiful yourself" I whispered to him and kissed his hand "Almost too beautiful".
I began to unbutton his shirt and teased him with a smile.
"Weren't you afraid I'd just screw you over?" Marty said and leaned closer to me.
"Well… I trust you" I whispered in his ear and kissed his neck.
He pushed me down on the bed and we started to kiss with long deep kisses. I could stay in this moment forever; I thought for myself and let out a silent moan when he kissed my collarbone. Marty and I made love that night.